As per the venerable tradition, in the noble form of the dodgy haiku.
Wikipedia also tells me that the 5-7-5 isn’t necessarily compulsory in English, so I just went with whatever. So not actually haiku then. Idea shamelessly copied from BigN.
Naruto
brash summer ninja,
summon your giant frog
with upmost stealth
-
-
Love Hina
autumn bathhouse,
I fall over
with deadly precision
-
-
Evangelion
nice tight clothes but
she’s incurably insane,
novel solution
-
-
Claymore
my quick sword is quick
your fingers are tentacles,
I require more arms
-
-
Kurenai
a young girls tale,
no you are not supposed to
be masturbating
-
-
Death Note
sure signs of evil,
goodness gracious me
that boy likes crisps
-
-
Fullmetal Alchemist
nothing is gained
without equal sacrifice,
hey look world war one
-
-
Ghost in the Shell
Cool robot woman
you have just saved my life,
put on some clothes
-
-
Soul Eater
were people weapons
I suppose I’d be
a spoon
My sincere apologies.
Coming soon, the first great post-modernist epic, addressing the topical issue of which of the ladies from The Tower of Druaga is the most attractive. No Coopa does not count. Or Jil.
OK, maybe Jil.
hahahaha the Kurenai and Soul Eater ones were great.
By: lelangir on May 28, 2008
at 2:19 pm
Indeed, the very depths of my soul were laid bare in the writing of those of my works which relate to the contemporary. ‘Tis sad that mere words cannot truly capture the profundities within my heart. I strive to overcome the limitations of form by spewing forth from the heart without excessive reflection. The slowly blistering ache of something of true thingamabob and so forth.
By: coburn on May 29, 2008
at 12:33 am
I’d be a spork, rather than a spoon. Multifunction for the win.
By: The Animanachronism on May 29, 2008
at 1:06 am
Excellent. Fatality.
By: iniksbane on May 29, 2008
at 4:38 am
Awesome haikus. Loved the Love Hina, kurenai and GitS ones.
By: Kurogane on May 29, 2008
at 8:55 am
Instant classic. The critical acclaim here is resounding and apt.
By: Owen S on May 30, 2008
at 7:46 am
You could’ve made Wikipedia tell you that.
But the haikus are still sweet.
By: Baka-Raptor on June 4, 2008
at 5:03 pm
My fine works prepared, I set off for WikiHQ in Prague by commercial jet, using one of my newer false identities. No common webpage would tell me how many syllables I needed. After exiting my cab and killing the guards at the door, I took the lift up the Wikitower, smoking a green cigarette in perfect silence as I waited to arrive. The doors opened on an elegant office, and I began.
The bodyguards dead, I turned to the quivering Mr Pedia, who was younger than I had thought. I spun my weapon in my hand as I strolled toward him.
“Oh, God, oh no.. Please….”
“You will find my demands perfectly reasonable Mr Pedia. And I am sure that we both hope that this meeting will be a brief one.”
“Not my eyes. Not my eyes! Don’t scoop them, please!”
“Hey! This ain’t no spoon, punk. This is a state of the art 7 inch spork. Its legend dates back to the twelfth century and it can poke a mans’ head clean off.
Thing is, in all the excitement, I forget. Did I remember to eat my meal on the flight over? And, seeing how this here spork may shortly be travelling its merry way up your arse. I think you have to look at me and ask yourself. Does he like curry?”
My most unreasonable demands were met in full.
By: coburn on June 4, 2008
at 11:37 pm
[...] rhythmic epigram, with plenty of cynicism and emotional disengagement. Reserve English haikus for comedy. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Tonight’s Lit CircleDay 89: _March_ by [...]
By: Need The Warld Ken About My Ramblings? « The Animanachronism on August 1, 2008
at 7:35 pm